So, the Southern Park Mall in Boardman is having a bit of a "moment." Or, as normal people call it, a complete meltdown. "Operational safety concerns," they're saying. Give me a break. That's corporate-speak for "we can't keep the lights on, and the roof might collapse."
21 News got flooded with calls because employees at places like Bath and Body Works and Hollister were told to stay home. The mall was closed. Then, BAM, a text saying, "Okay, maybe open at 12:30, but no pressure." What kind of clown show is this?
And then the Boardman Fire Department shows up? Just to "make sure anyone potentially inside was safe." Oh, now you care about safety? Where was this concern when the owner, Mike Kohan, was allegedly busy not paying his taxes?
Let's talk about this Kohan guy. Delinquent on tax payments? County Commissioner Geno Difabio isn't mincing words, calling him "not a good player." Ya think? The guy's got the Midas touch in reverse. Everything he touches turns to... well, you know.
McCormick, the Boardman trustee candidate, nails it: the mall is on "life support." He wants accountability. Good luck with that. Kohan hasn't even bothered to return calls. Probably too busy counting whatever pennies he hasn't already gambled away. It's not like he's gonna suddenly care about the community now, is it? I mean, let's be real.
I wonder...do these mall owners even try anymore? Or do they just assume we're all too addicted to cheap crap to notice the slow-motion train wreck happening around us?
This whole thing is a metaphor for the retail apocalypse. Malls used to be the center of everything. Now they are… what? A place to wander aimlessly while contemplating the futility of existence?
Seriously, I remember when the mall was the place to be. The smell of Auntie Anne's pretzels. The echoing laughter of teenagers. The sheer, unadulterated consumerism. Now, it's just a depressing husk, haunted by the ghosts of Orange Julius and Sam Goody.
And what about the employees affected by this? Delays in pay, they're saying. How many people are getting screwed over because some rich dude can't manage his finances? It's the same old story, ain't it?
Then again, maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe there were legitimate "operational safety concerns." Southern Park Mall to reopen Monday afternoon after 'operational Maybe a rogue squirrel short-circuited the entire electrical grid. Maybe the ghost of a long-dead shoplifter sabotaged the sprinkler system. Who knows?
